You are completely alone in this experience - are you not?
All of this writing is merely anxiety and rationalization to this fact.
Would you rather possess a clear mind or the victim hood you covet so preciously?
If a clear mind and heart are what you seek, then look with clarity.
Just look with directness and obviousness.
How could a guru or guide provide directions to a place on you may visit?
How could a guru or guide provide a method to an action only you can do?
How can a guru or guide provide a description to a sight only you can see?
These are obvious facts to even a simple man.
So how can any authority give you anything?
Simple: they cannot.
And so, one must reject authority in the psychological experience entirely.
And so, one must turn ones back to the process of society completely.
And so, one must find out what it means and how one is to live in this world: alone.
No man, no woman, guide or guru will save you. You are all you have.
Tomorrow will be no better than today.
And so, you must find out what it means to live a life for oneself.